Motor-Stadt Region

Improve Your Track Skills

by Len VanderJagt
LVJ911@worldnet.att.net

   So, how does one engage in lap dancing, or at least lap dancing practice, in the dead of winter? In your "other" vehicles of course. And the more snow, the more you can learn. Let's look at some examples.

  Tina, the Wonder Truck. Take a 1984 Toyota pickup with a wooden bed of tubatens over fourbafours, and you are ready for big-time lap dance training. Nice hard tires with about a 90 aspect ratio, and virtually negative weight in the back. What to learn? Feed in the gas. Overdo it. Feel the rear end start to slip; the truck start to rotate around the front end.

  Practice counter-steering. Virtually any throttle will produce these results in the snow. This is just like driving an early 3-series BMW, without the expense. In addition, there is plenty of room to maneuver, since all the other drivers imagine that they see a sign on the back that says something like "I'm uninsured, violating my parole six ways at once and just don't care." You are always going so slow, you can't possibly get into big trouble. Fundamental practice with power oversteer and related throttle control. This will work with any rear drive car. Cheaper is better.

  Elliot, the 635. Think 325, double the apparent mass, raise the polar moment of inertia by a factor of two (I am not making these words up), pay your insurance, make sure the check cleared, then head on out. Until you have reported to Bimmer Coupe Protective Services and they come and shoot you, you can experience the Tina Truck stuff at a much higher linear speed but slower rotational speed.

  This entire exercise should be reserved for when you get caught out accidentally in a sudden snow storm. Not for the faint of heart or thin of wallet. It will help you strengthen your nerves and concentration. By the way, both the Great Unwashed and the Bimmer-Heads hate you on site for entirely opposite reasons.

  Van Gogh, the all wheel drive midi-van. Now the real fun begins. This GMC van is so much fun in the snow I can't stand it. But stand on it, do. Away you go. No fuss building up speed. Brake, and the ABS kicks in, and you sure aren't going to stop. So it's time to steer! Turn in, and it's neutral as you set up the balance. Lift a bit and you push; feed in moderate throttle and it's back to neutral. Then go on it and the tail comes out just so, stays in place, and all four tires go clawing their way through the turn. Maybe use just a touch of opposite lock, and away you go.

  The point of all this is that you can experience vehicle dynamics at rather low speeds that only occur on a dry race track long after your Pucker Factor has shot over the top like an Internet stock. And you are just as scared of the crash potential. This makes it very hard for folks to learn about and experience a Porsche's handling limits. Our Porsches are so much more competent than we, that to find the car's limit we must go well past our own. Not good. This leads to the old situation of Macho Men "driving into the turn until they run out of talent."

  In the snow, you can prudently go to school on oversteer, understeer, throttlesteer, rotation, and skid control, without putting yourself or others at risk. I believe that is why God gave us huge plowed parking lots.

  Rear wheel drive cars are by far the best, with all-wheel or 4x4s next. Spend some time with this, preferably with a friend. Swap cars and feel the differences. When you get to the point that you can accurately predict the results of your inputs and can control them, you have taken a giant step towards doing a good lap dance in the dry. And remember, when you approach your limit in the dry, what happens next won't be baffling to you - just much faster.

  Have fun, be safe, and learn a lot. Hope for more snow. And Spring will be here before you know it.